My response to discovering and reading three journal books that my

stay-at-home tutor kept, during my first few years of elementary school.

They were created for my long-distance mother

as a form of check-in logs, as part of the remote parenting.

The journals were handwritten meticulously.

There was a star-rated system:

for different aspects of life that

my mom deemed important: study, piano, patience, focus, personal hygiene...

——

The piano melody is the *only* remnant of eight years of lessons —

I don’t even remember how to read notes anymore.

The jianzi (毽子) — Chinese hacky sack — was

a school requirement to meet physical criteria.

It was something I practiced every spring, only to be repeatedly frustrated

by a sport that, in my opinion, is intrinsically frustrating in its very rules of play.